Today I have an interview. It is for an on call, temporary job. I am still a little nervous about it. This is a baby step in re-entering the 'adult world' that I left two weeks before giving birth to my first child. That would be 29 years ago this month. It is a lifetime ago. I am definitely not the same person. In one respect I feel so much more confident in who I am, but also much less confident in my ability to be useful in today's work force. We will see what happens.

I just found out today that you can make yarn from stinging nettles and that they grow in Utah.
I always have this desire to be creating fabric. Not just any fabric, but fabric from plant to finished yardage. In a book I read recently it says that nettle fabric has been made since the bronze age and that it is the sweetest of fabrics, being ideal next to the skin. Apparently the fiber is hollow and so if it is not twisted too tightly in the spinning, it produces a yarn that insulates.
Being made from stinging nettles, one must first take care of the stinging part. They apparently gather the nettles with heavy gloves and then hang the plants upside down for a couple of days so that the formic acid drys up and dissipates. No more stinging!
The stalks are then retted, just like linen, and then the fibers carefully extracted from the woody part of the stalk. This is the trickiest part of the process. The fiber that is produced is a lovely white color, unlike linen which must be bleached.
Nettles take no pesticides and do not use bleaching. They are much lower in negative impact on the environment. So, I wonder, why is it not being utilized more fully? Apparently it is the sting.
Labor intensive maybe. I just don't know. I would love see a piece of finished fabric. I would love to make a piece of finished fabric.

Late
I really need to go to bed. I have a headache and I am tired. It has been a busy day. Actually, it has been a pretty busy season.
I ran the Cougar Run, again. And again, I came in 2nd in my age group. Drat. I am always second. I dream of being speedy, but when it actually comes to the race, I never seem to be able to deliver. I wish that I had what it takes to run better. I just don't know if I do. I did it in 28:46. That is just 1 second faster than last year! Double Drat.
I really enjoyed my visit with Beth. It is an interesting experience to be a guest of your child. This is the first time. It was good seeing Jimmy again. Babies are a lot of fun compared to teenagers. Well, I am going to toddle off to bed now.

I am depressed. It really isn't so surprising. I feel like I am stuck, spinning my wheels, not going anywhere.  Sometimes it is hard to distinquish between depression and tiredness. Maybe I am just tired.

Heat

I don't understand what it is about hot days that make me so lazy and sleepy. It seems that as the sun rises it sucks the energy right out of my body and I don't want to do anything but sit and 'veg'.
Beth and Richard are leaving soon. I don't think I have wrapped my mind around that yet. It seems somehow more permanent and wrenching than when Beth got married. Distance I think is what adds to the feeling. I find myself wondering about my various ancestors who left family and home to come to Utah so many years ago. I know many of them knew they would never see their natal family again in this life. I don't know that I could have done it.
Still feeling somewhat directionless and at lose ends. Hopefully I will be able to get out of this funk before fall. I think the trick is to just keep looking forward more than I look back. Like driving...you look back every so often, so you don't get blind-sided...but not often. Keep your focus foward and maybe a little on the sides...everything else doesn't matter anymore. Easy to say, hard to do I'm afraid.

I just looked at my other blog page, which is more for family news, and discovered that I choose the same layout and look. I hate being so predictable but I quess I am.
I heard that some of my relatives think I am an addict. Myself and my cousins Serena and Bryan. All addicts. I don't exactly feel like an addict. If I am then my addiction is causing me a great deal of frustration right now. But perhaps that is the nature of addictions. Perhaps they all start innocently enough and then turn gradually into sources of frustration and sometimes pain. I personally don't think that running is a bona-fide addiciton but some may. And I do think of other things. I just think about running more than most.

Okay, I am now an official 'blogger'. Kind of surreal. I don't know how open to be about my feelings in this format. I doubt that anyone would every really read these pages of mine but it is somewhat like leaving you personal diary in a place where anyone could sneak a peak at what is what in your life. Creepy.